Frank came into my life in 2005. We went out a few times, but ultimately decided that we preferred to be friends. At that point in time, we just weren’t in the right frames of mind for anything more serious. So friends we became. Over the past six years, however, Frank has always been in the back of my mind – and sometimes in the front. There has always been that nagging question of “what if?” What if we had gone out just one more time? What if I had been more emotionally available?

2005

Frank moved to Hawaii a few years ago, and I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach when he did. That little glimmer of hope that I had held onto for so long seemed to dissipate. We did keep in touch through email and Facebook, and I still wondered “what if” from time to time, though it didn’t seem likely that we would ever have a second chance.

Imagine my surprise when he suddenly moved back to Knoxville a few months ago! I wish I could say that we ran toward each other in slow motion through a field of daisies, but it wasn’t that dramatic. We gradually started talking more and more, and the first time I threw out the idea of dating, he shot me down! But a couple of months later, he threw the idea onto the table. We’ve spent the past month really getting to know each other, and we have come to realize that we are perfect for one another. He is everything I could ever ask for in a man, and I trust him completely.

2011

Sometimes I take a step back and try to look at our situation from an outsider’s perspective. And when I do, I think all of this happened quickly. Perhaps too quickly. But then I remind myself that there was nothing quick about this. The romantic relationship evolved from a six year friendship. And of all the things I love about my Frankie, his friendship is and will always be at the top of the list.

©2012 The Kat House. All Rights Reserved.

I will be the first to say that I’m not an easy person to love. I am incredibly independent and somewhat set in my ways. Past experiences have caused me to question the motives of most men and to hesitate in trusting them. I require more patience than the average woman, and I’ve found that patience is a rare commodity among the male population. I’ve always been honest about this need upfront, but that hasn’t changed the ending to the story. The guy says “I am more patient than anyone you have ever met!” and then he dumps me two weeks later because things weren’t progressing as quickly as he would have liked. The result has been a long string of dates with very few actual relationships thrown into the mix.

That being said, I’ve also been the one to bring the brakes to a screeching halt on a few occasions. When I get scared or feel pressured, it’s my natural reaction. When I notice undesirable qualities in the guy, or when it doesn’t appear that he and I are a good match, I let him go. I’m looking for something serious and long term. If it’s not headed in that direction, I’m just wasting my time – and his!

I may be a dreamer, but I am also realistic enough to know that there is no such thing as a perfect man. However, there is one out there who is perfect for me! And I won’t stop looking until I find him.

First and foremost, he is a Christian. He is romantic, loyal, caring, and generous. He loves animals and understands the bond that I have with my own pets. He is patient, understanding, and knows that the type of relationship we both desire will not occur overnight. He is in it for the long haul and won’t bail on me when the going gets tough. He loves horror movies and ghost shows, and he is willing to stay up late watching them with me. He is supportive and motivates me to do and be the best that I possibly can. He’s a working man, ambitious in his field, and he can carry on an intelligent conversation when the situation calls for it. He’d rather go out for pizza than to a four star restaurant. And he has a great sense of humor!

I am a hopeless romantic. I want nothing more than to find “the one” that God intended for me. The one who will love me, trust me, and be forever devoted to me. I want my heart to be overflowing with love for him. I want to hold him, comfort him, trust him, and cherish him. I want to fall in love with him every day for the rest of my life.

And so, I wait. A love like that is worth waiting for.

©2012 The Kat House. All Rights Reserved.

“It is far more comforting to think that God listened and said no, than to think that nobody’s out there.”

Like most, I tend to say more prayers in my hour of need than in my moments of bliss. I should be singing praises of thanksgiving each and every day for the many blessings in my life. Instead, I have often found myself wondering just why God chose to ignore my requests – my pleas for that guy who would be so perfect for me if only he would wake up and realize it. I’ve found myself wondering why I’m lonely when everyone else seems to have found their perfect mates. I’m a fairly intelligent woman, yet this very simple and common sense truth dispensed by the rabbi Albert Lewis has taught me something far more important than dozens of college courses. God listened and said no.

When I was married, I asked God to turn my abusive husband into a loving man. He said no.

But when I asked to be delivered from the abuse, he said yes.

Years later, I asked God to help me move to another state to be closer to my boyfriend. He said no.

But when the same boyfriend dumped me, and I asked God to heal my heart, He said yes.

I think back to these two chapters of my life – and the final outcome of each. And I realize that the things I had asked for would have taken me down paths better left unexplored. When God said no, he spared me a lot of heartache.

God is now telling me no again. My first instinct is to disagree, to ask why, to plead with Him that this one thing will make me happy. After all, I’m a good person and I deserve happiness. But instead, I am choosing to back away. As difficult as it is, I am choosing to put my trust in Him, for He will say yes when the time and circumstances are right.

Thanks be to God!

©2012 The Kat House. All Rights Reserved.

Context is key. I am more than willing to say I’m not interested in watching the football game. But being asked for a date by a guy I’m not attracted to poses a serious problem. How can I say “I’m not interested” without coming across as a jerk?

Let’s face it. Saying “I’m not interested” just isn’t polite. In fact, I believe it to be synonymous with several other not so polite phrases.

“You’re not my type.”

“I’m not attracted to you.”

“You’re ugly.”

Despite all efforts to provide an honest reply to a date request, I often hear myself making an excuse – usually the boyfriend excuse. Sometimes I really do have a significant other – or at least an insignificant other. Other times it’s just a flat out lie.

So if honesty really is the best policy, why does it feel so wrong in situations such as this? And what’s a woman like myself to do when asked out by an uninteresting man?

©2012 The Kat House. All Rights Reserved.

I’ve been struggling to come up with a nickname for the boyfriend, but so far I have nothing. So I’ll just continue to call him “the boyfriend” until a clever alias comes to mind.

The boyfriend is totally different from every other guy I’ve ever dated. Whereas I’ve usually gotten involved with guys much younger than myself, he’s less than two years younger. Instead of the usual dark hair, he is blonde. He is patient, caring, and incredibly sweet – not at all like most of the jerks I’ve been involved with in the past. When we first started dating, he asked me why my previous relationships had failed, and he vowed never to make the same mistakes the other guys had made. And he has been true to his word. The man has the patience of a saint!

The boyfriend says that he’s the luckiest man alive. He says that I’m his “better half, his soul mate” and I “complete him in every way”.   I’ve dated plenty of guys over the years, but never has one felt so strongly about me.  All I can say is that I am the lucky one, for I’ve found the true meaning of love this holiday season.

©2012 The Kat House. All Rights Reserved.

A couple of years ago I learned the hard way that I shouldn’t publicize the details of my private life. So for the time being, I’ll keep my private life somewhat private – at least until I know that the boyfriend plans on sticking around! But for those of you who are curious, I will say that he’s a very nice young man. I met him in a more conventional manner than I’ve met some of my past boyfriends. And he’s not a blogger, though he does check in on my blog from time to time. In fact, he asks me nearly every day if I’ve written any new posts!

As always, stay tuned for further developments.

©2012 The Kat House. All Rights Reserved.

You are The Lovers

Motive, power, and action, arising from Inspiration and Impulse.

The Lovers represents intuition and inspiration. Very often a choice needs to be made.

Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that’s actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in this sequence of growth and maturity. And, coming after the Emperor, who is about control, it is a radical change in perspective. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can’t understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. This card indicates that the you have or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that you will fall in love with. You will know instinctively that you must have this, even if it means diverging from your chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it you will never be complete.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

All I can say is wow. There couldn’t possibly be a more perfect card in the deck. Thanks to my buddy Michael for tipping me about the quiz!

©2012 The Kat House. All Rights Reserved.

I did end up meeting a number of guys in person, and a few relationships and lots of friendships resulted. But with the good times came the bad. I had my heart crushed not once, but twice. It has been difficult to trust anyone since.

My last serious relationship ended a year and a half ago. Since that time, I’ve had some dates, but nothing too impressive. And though I do miss having a special someone in my life, I must admit that this past year and a half has been more fulfilling than any of the years prior. I haven’t joined any dating site. I haven’t gone out looking to meet someone. I have just been myself, lived my life, and enjoyed the blessings that have come my way.

I received a prestigious HR certification last year, and I will be testing for another one this December 1st. Not having a boyfriend has allowed me to focus on this aspect of my career without romantic distraction. It has also allowed me to discover more about myself and what I hope to find in my next relationship. And most importantly, it has prepared me to trust again.

The receipt of my SPHR certification will signal a major turning point in my life. With my career goals met, I can then turn my attentions to my personal life. I will be bringing Find Tish a Boyfriend out of retirement, and I’ll use the blog to chronicle the search for my soul mate. If you recall, I accepted boyfriend applications from Tennessee and all its neighboring states the last time around. This time I plan to expand the search to a much broader area. I’ll even be accepting Manhattan resumes!

I’m in the home stretch, friends, so wish me well.

©2012 The Kat House. All Rights Reserved.

My Total Money Makeover is progressing pretty nicely so far. I’ve become very coupon conscious, using them whenever I possibly can – but only on items I would normally buy anyway. I’m doing a great job at sticking to the budget, and I am really surprised at how much money I have managed to save on food and toiletries just by paying with cash instead of the debit card.

I canceled my pest control service. And now I’m considering eliminating my land line and keeping only the cell phone. Most everyone calls the cell phone anyway, but I’m still paying more than $40 per month for the land line. I may have to bump up my cell phone plan if I get rid of the land line, but the next plan is only $20 more per month. I would still cut $20 in phone expenses each month.

I have recently become addicted to Lifetime Movie Network. Those movies just suck me in. I have to pry myself away when one movie ends, or a whole day could easily be consumed. And considering that I have just four more months to study before taking the SPHR exam, I can’t afford to spend much time in front of the tube. Once I reach the wealth building stage of my Total Money Makeover, I may have to invest in home theater seating and a popcorn machine – paid for with cash, of course!

You know how great it feels when someone you’ve missed so very much calls and tells you he misses you too? Yeah. I love that feeling. It was the best part of my weekend.

Have a great week!

©2012 The Kat House. All Rights Reserved.

Go on. Give it a try. Make your own Schick Dream Date! There are lots of faces, hair, clothing, and backgrounds to choose from, and you can even tweak them to make your dream date completely unique!

When you’re finished designing your dream date, be sure to check out the Schick Quattro for Women. I have tried practically every women’s razor on the market, and the Quattro is definitely my favorite. It has four blades, two conditioning strips, and a pivoting head. The handle is metal with beautiful pink grips – ergonomically designed and extremely comfortable! No other razor has left my legs feeling as smooth as this one.

©2012 The Kat House. All Rights Reserved.