The Kat House » Humor

Overheard at the Vet’s Office #4

Tish — Fri, 12 Sep 2008 02:47:40 +0000

While waiting to pick Cruella up at UT today, I overheard a client talking to a doctor.

“He has terrible gas. I hope you won’t have to experience it.”

I tuned the rest of the conversation out.

Overheard at the Vet’s Office #3

Tish — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 00:34:46 +0000

What did one vet tech say to the other while taking Cruella for a walk on the grassy strip behind the clinic?

“Watch out for the landmines!”

Overheard at the Vet’s Office #2

Tish — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 22:13:46 +0000

“I’m sorry, but I couldn’t get a stool sample for the cat. My dog likes to eat them.”

Overheard at the Vet’s Office #1

Tish — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 01:18:50 +0000

When you spend as much time as I do in the vet’s office, you’re bound to overhear a few funnies. I’ve decided to start sharing some of the ones that have really made me chuckle.

Client: Can you tell me about this dog food?

Tech: Well, it’s specially formulated for dogs with allergies. It doesn’t contain chicken, corn, or any of the other regular ingredients that a lot of dogs are sensitive to.

Client: Does it have meat in it?

Tech: Yes, it has herring in it. It’s a bird.

Drop the Pen!

Tish — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 23:37:25 +0000

After I recently blogged about my fascination with pens, my buddy Rick sent me this video.

I laughed myself silly – not just because the video is so funny, but because it reminds me so much of myself. While the other kids back in middle school were spending their hard earned dollars in search of the world’s best acne treatment, I was dropping quarters into the pencil machine. And 24 years later, I still hate that kid who stole my pencils.

So much has changed, yet so much has stayed the same. I’m not so crazy about pencils anymore, but you’d be wise not to even think about touching my pen – my Pilot Precise V7 Rolling Ball with Extra Fine tip. Never has a more glorious pen been manufactured!

Like the kid in this video, I get a bit uneasy when someone asks to borrow my pen. I watch it like a hawk. I’ve had to stop a few people from running off with it in the past, though thankfully, I have never had to resort to extreme measures of retrieval. “Drop the pen and slowly back away!” usually does the trick. I haven’t had to fire a round yet!

Welcome to the Chevy Grille!

Tish — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 04:26:47 +0000

While browsing the web today, I ran across the term Chevy grilles and thought it seemed like a pretty cool name for a restaurant! Perhaps this is just the business venture I should pursue. Anyone care for a juicy cheeseburger? It comes hot off the grill and served on a dirty old hubcap with a side of motor oil! Yummy!

Google Thinks I Need a Wife!

Tish — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 17:45:55 +0000

I logged into Gmail yesterday to find this ad at the top of my inbox.

This is disturbing on a number of levels. And frankly, I can’t decide what bothers me more – the fact that something in one of my 312 unopened emails led Google to believe I need a mail order wife, or this appalling use of the English language.

Letter to a Stalker

Tish — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 07:40:24 +0000

Dear Stalker,

I had almost forgotten what it was like to be held in such high regard by a man. Coming home to find your little tokens of love at my mailbox – beer bottles, cigarette butts, Almond Joy wrappers – made my heart flutter and my stomach turn. Ah, what bittersweet memories!

It’s hard to believe that it has been nearly a year since I packed up and moved some 4 miles away. I’m sorry I left you without so much as a forwarding address, but it was for your own good. Nothing positive could have come from our relationship. You and your longneck bottles. Me and my pop top cans. We were from two different worlds, you and me.

Imagine my surprise when I came home to find an empty box of Sour Patch Kids on the lawn a couple of weeks ago. For one brief, fleeting moment, a feeling of deja vu swept over me. A vision of your ski-masked face came to mind. And then, like GT ONE cigarette smoke in the wind, it was gone. You were gone. And I was left with nothing but a random piece of litter on the grass.

Until today.

Today I pulled into the driveway to find an empty corn dog wrapper and a cigarette butt – a GT ONE to be exact! A GT ONE covered in greasy KFC fingerprints! I felt a stir deep within my heart. Turns out that it was only the Mexican food I had for lunch, but hey – can beggars really be choosers?

I was all set to reconsider this relationship, until I saw it – an empty Mounds wrapper. That’s when I realized that we have far bigger differences than our choice of beverage container. The past year has turned you into a man I don’t even recognize anymore. And this will never work. It’s time we both faced a harsh reality – Almond Joy’s got nuts! Mounds don’t!

Sincerely,

Tish

My Favorite Posts

chattiekat — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 05:48:03 +0000

Max tagged me on this very interesting meme.

Start tag

This is based on the SEO theory that links to posts inside your blog are more important than links to your home page. I have selected three posts I want to promote along with my site’s name. You should do the same thing. Keep it simple and spread our good work around to both share and build some ratings! Pick three posts that you feel are your best or those you simply want to promote. Your site name is listed with your 3 selected posts beneath. Once you have your post up: Add the sites and post links of the folks you tagged onto your post. Try to add the site and post links to anyone involved to maximize the effectiveness.Tag a minimum of 5 people! Try your best not to double tag people so it will spread better! Please actually read the posts from everyone so you can see some really good work from our beloved blogging friends! Make your title a little different from mine to avoid repetitive titles. Please try maintain some friendly updates to your post too.

Revellian dot com
SEO Keywords For Beginners
Content: The Kings Illegitimate Stepchild
Tales of Blogger-X Illusion

Mariuca – Wishing On A Falling Star
Love In Disarray
In Love With A Dream
The Good Client

Mariuca’s Perfume Gallery
Perfume Shopping Spree
Defining Beauty
In Full Splendour

First Time Dad
Homer Kidnapped
Something Ends
Good Night Sweetheart! Hello Basil!

Speedcat Hollydale Page
Rocket Boy in Hawaii – DC9
Speedcat’s Death Ride into Terror!
The Boy Inside All Men

R Playground
Friends101
Shy Blogger
Soul Music

LadyJava’s Lounge
Are you a Genius??, The secret to a happy marriage, I’ve got a twitch in my eye

Rooms of My Heart
Let’s Celebrate with Us, Join Tribute to Dads Project, 8 things that make who I am now

Being Woman – The Joy of Being One
A Handbag Lunatic, A Real Deal, What makes you fat?

Make Money Online
Share Uploaded Files and Earn, Fight Back against computer-security threats, Earn Money 3 Ways with Shareapic Program

Cat Tales
Sunday was Bathday, Someone got locked in!, When she’s sleeping….

Life with the Two Crazy Dogs
35W Bridge Collapsed Survivor, 10 Questions, Traffic Violation – Bite Me!

Attitude, the Ultimate Power Cookies Happiness is a Decision; Choose to be Happy Happiness Vs. Human Nature

Terri Terri Quite Contrary – Just How Immature Are We?, Finding a Voice, So Much More to See than the Game

MAX
Don’t you just love people? , Re-define altruism , Sex, anti-spiritual?

The Kat House
Tish and Dan Go to Krystal, Embarrassing Moment, Top 10 Reasons I’m Single

ADD YOURSELF HERE.

WHEN DONE, LEAVE A COMMENT WITH ME.

End tag

I tag these blogs: Bush Mackel, Chip’s Quips, Totally Fabulous, Big Orange Michael, Blue Sloth

Sunday Samplings #10

chattiekat — Sun, 16 Sep 2007 14:12:19 +0000

For some great tips on increasing the traffic to your blog, check out 4 Free Tips To Get More Exposure For Your Blog by Kyle Eslick.
[Geeks Are Sexy] has posted an instructional video on how to prevent birds from crapping into your pool. I don’t have a pool, but if I did, I’d consider giving this a try. It’s effective and hilarious!
Brian of My Tears Spoiled My Aim creates and posts lots of beautiful artwork. He just recently completed Vermont Farm, done in watercolor and pen and ink.
I just discovered that Christy of Totally Fabulous likes Edward Norton as much as I do. He is being featured in her second Sexy Saturday Video.
Bob of Bobbarama has posted Carnival of Humor, Issue 9. There are some great links there, and you’ll also find out how to submit your own humorous post for Issue 10.