Yesterday marked the seven month anniversary of Cruella’s death, and there is still a huge hole in my heart. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know just how important she was to me – and how important she always will be.
I’ve always had a difficult time forging friendships that last. If you were to look back over the years, my set of friends has changed as frequently as some people replace their toothbrushes. Boyfriends have been few and far between, and they have only stuck around for a few months at best. Months and even years have passed between visits with my own family members. My dogs have been the only constant. And though I love Molly and Roxy very much, no one will ever be able to hold a candle to Miss Cruella. She was my “heart dog” – the greatest blessing I have ever known. And though I always loved her with my whole heart, our bond became so much stronger during the last three years of her life. She developed several very serious health conditions that required a lot of care. And like any good parent, I did everything that I possibly could for her – until the moment she took her last breath. I always knew the day would come, but it came way too soon. Eight years with her was just not enough.
I have never known such love, companionship, and loyalty as that which Cruella showed me during our time together. And though the pain of losing her has been immense, I would endure it all again just to be able to see her one more time. The joy of having her in my life far outweighed the tragedy of losing her.
It is with tear stained eyes that I recount my fondest memories of her. She was always at my side. Even when I took a bath, she patiently waited by the tub. And on the occasions that I’d fall asleep while soaking, I would awaken to a lick on the nose. There were the many games of hide and seek. It was hard to control my laughter as I listened to her run from room to room searching for me. She was so persistent, never giving up until she had finally found me! Miss Cruella was something else!
I have often prayed that God would take away the pain of losing my best friend. But upon careful consideration, that’s not really what I want at all. I now realize that I have felt pain because I have loved. And because I have loved, I have lived.