The girlfriend of a guy I used to date has been reading my blogs. As much as I’d like to think that she finds my writing interesting and humorous, I’m 99% sure that isn’t the case. Most girls aren’t wired that way.
With the exception of one, my exes’ girlfriends have never been fond of me. And that’s a shame. I’m a nice person, and they have been so filled with resentment that they have never bothered to see that. I’m 35 years old, so it should be no surprise that I’ve had lots of boyfriends over the years. And there’s not a single one that I still pine for. Yet, I still get evil glares and stares from the current girlfriends.
This is precisely why I don’t have female friends. Sure, I have online female friends, but I don’t have a single one who lives in my town. There’s too much comparison, too much competitiveness. Pay attention the next time you see a current girlfriend checking out an ex. I can pretty accurately predict what she’ll say.
“My tits are bigger.”
“My ass is tighter.”
“My face is prettier.”
Yeah, whatever.
Exes are exes for a reason. Most of the time, those exes couldn’t give a flying crap about your guy.
If you’re lucky enough to find love, don’t waste a single moment worrying about what has been or what could be. Savor the moment. Enjoy your time together. There is nothing in this world that is more precious than love.
As Anthony Hopkins said in Meet Joe Black, “To make the journey and not fall deeply in love…well, you haven’t lived a life at all.”
Live your life.
November 6th, 2007 at 12:06 pm
I wonder if guys are any different in this regard… I don’t think boyfriends of my ex’s hate me. But I think in general, I have very few people who hate me and maybe in my case that’s what’s governing the whole affair.
Maybe the whole thing at play here is confidence which is obviously a big thing is pretty much all aspects of relationships. *shrugs*
November 6th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
My DH’s ex reads our blog all the time, but then again she calls our house at 3am to discuss “insurance”. Yeah. I don’t mind, because I feel sorry for her. But you are right, it’s sad that someone has to do that. In her case, her ex-husband is a better man today than he was with her, and she’s angry about that. But, she got the divorce she wanted, she got her freedom. That’s why it’s sad that she won’t start living her new life but instead spends her time looking backward at what she lost.
Sad.
November 6th, 2007 at 3:55 pm
I love you Tish. (smile)
This was so so beautifully written.
In my case, the new girlfriends or wives of my exes are invariably “better” than me in every regard so I do get a complex from that. But I never hate any of the new females in their lives. So pointless.
I love the end quote.
November 6th, 2007 at 4:30 pm
fortunately for me, none of my prior relationships ended amicably. I seldom if ever speak to any exes.
November 6th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
@Steve - “none of my prior relationships ended amicably” By that do you mean w/o you putting them in triangle chokes? (#);D
November 6th, 2007 at 5:55 pm
It’s just insecurity…don’t you think?
November 6th, 2007 at 7:10 pm
@ bush mackel: I’m not often surprised by a comment, but that one came from no where! When I say LOL, I mean it in this case. Just the thought of getting one of my former girlfriend’s current boyfriend on a wrestling mat makes me laugh.
On a related note, while I seldom think about my ex girlfriends’ boyfriends, I do think often about my daughter’s future boyfriends and there will definitely be physical pain of some kind for them.
November 6th, 2007 at 9:19 pm
@Steve - I couldn’t resist! (#):D
November 7th, 2007 at 1:58 am
I’ll be honest. There was one girl, in college. I was head over heels for this girl. But, it didn’t work out. We shared a circle of friends, and a couple of times, she’d bring guys she was dating a long. I wasted a LOT of time trying to figure out what these people were offering that I wasn’t.
But then, you kinda realize the point that you made in your post. People make the decisions they do. Personally, I have enough trouble trying to decipher just what I’m thinking, let alone what somebody else thinks. So, I decided to just live my life.
And, to this point I have.
Though I’ll still catch the out of town weather for Louisville, Kentucky, from time to time, and hope she’s wearing a coat when it’s cold….;)
November 7th, 2007 at 2:42 am
This is so true. Relationships should be lived in the moment. Unfortunately I must admit that I, too, find myself comparing my current bf’s ex girlfriends to myself - he’s had lots of them -.-. I know I shouldn’t be jealous or worried as our current relationship has been the longest either of us have ever had, but I just can’t help being wired that way. Hopefully I’ll grow out of it because I love your attitude towards this issue.
Thanks for the great post.
November 7th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
What we need to do if find the ex at the end of this chain.
If every girl looks at every other girl and says, that her tits are bigger…ass is tighter…face is prettier…
…then at 5 or 6 exes down the line, there is one super hot Playboy Playmate chick.
That’s my logic and I’m sticking to it.
November 8th, 2007 at 8:13 am
Tish, You my dear are wiser than your years! beautifully wrote and articulately expressed….. Hugs sweetness
Besides most females are bitches in every sense of the word…
lol
November 10th, 2007 at 5:56 am
Love isn’t about finding the ones we can live with, but rather finding the ones we can’t live without.
November 11th, 2007 at 11:52 am
While your post may have been elegantly written, I must say that I do not agree. I happen to think that neither of you were right for each other in the first place and for God’s sake you should move on. Besides I value my friends dearly, as I feel thier pain along side them. The people you speak of in these ways I consider family and I find it very uncooth that you would say the things you did. Even if her tits are bigger, her ass is tighter, and face is prettier, you can still be civil about the fact that your former lover has decided to move on. Besides I cannot allow any of my friends to have a relationship with anyone who is more self centered than myself.
November 12th, 2007 at 3:00 am
I tend to lean towards the opinion of the last poster. Something about this doesn’t ring true in the least, from an emotional or logical standpoint.How do you know that “The girlfriend of a guy I used to date has been reading my blogs”? Considering the anonymity of the Internet how do you know this?
If it was from an online community such as blogcatalog or mybloglog then how would you know who his new girlfriend was unless you were cyberstalking?
“Most girls aren’t wired that way”? Most women read other womens’ blogs. You go on to say “I’m a nice person, and they have been so filled with resentment that they have never bothered to see that” followed by “I don’t have a single one who lives in my town. There’s too much comparison, too much competitiveness.” In the context of exes what is there to compete with? This sounds like self-fulfilling prophecy.
“Pay attention the next time you see a current girlfriend checking out an ex” is a bit strange. 99.999% of the time it’s the old girlfriend checking out the new girlfriend and making snide comments to bolster her self esteem.
“I can pretty accurately predict what she’ll say” “My tits are bigger” “My ass is tighter” “My face is prettier”? Are you this insecure? What kind of conspiratorial conjecture could possibly lead you to believe they’re thinking anything of the sort?
“Exes are exes for a reason. Most of the time, those exes couldn’t give a flying crap about your guy” also seems odd. Why would you give a flying crap about her or what she’s thinking? Or your ex for that matter? And why the snarky animosity?The fact of the matter is that most current girlfriends could care less about an ex unless the ex continues to cause problems. So why is that you continue to “run into” current girlfriends?Presented as such “Live your life” could be more aptly retorted with “Move on.”
November 12th, 2007 at 3:18 pm
I would say tha I have to agree with the previous two commentators. I honestly would take your own advice and “Live your life.” Since after all life is short and I deon’t think you’d like to end up like this.