The Kat House

It has been nearly 7 years since my divorce. For the first couple of years after the divorce, I swore I’d never marry again. I finally accepted the fact that there are some decent men left in this world, and I came to understand that marriage can be a wonderful thing if you find the right person. I said that I’d marry again only in the event that I was certain I’d found the right person.

In recent days, I’ve found myself doing lots of thinking. I’ve been single for so long. Would I be able to function in a relationship? Is a relationship something that I even want? I enjoy being able to relax in the comfort of my own home. No worries about anyone else. No one else to consider in my decisions. I can come and go as I please. If I work late, there are no complaints. If I stay out all night, there are no complaints. I’m used to that kind of lifestyle, and it’s hard to imagine it any other way. Now, it is not that often that I go out, but having the ability to do so at will is nice.

Maybe I’m just selfish. Or maybe I’ve just become too independent. I don’t rely on a man for my happiness, and that’s the way I like it. Sure, there are times when I get very lonely, but there are many more times that I’m perfectly content with where I am in life.

For many years now, I’ve been turned off by constant companionship. Even when I’ve been in a relationship, I’ve needed a significant amount of alone time. I enjoy spending time with a nice guy, but when I’m ready to be alone, I want to be left alone. Most guys don’t understand that. It has been my experience that as time went on, I wanted to spend more and more time with the guy, but in the beginning, I don’t like to feel crowded.

Any of my exes will tell you that I’m high maintenance. In a way, I am. I may not need to spend a lot of time with a guy, but during the time that I do spend with him, I demand lots of attention. I need to know that I’m cared for. I need to know that I’m a priority. Most guys can’t deliver that.

I want a guy who is independent and doesn’t rely on me for his happiness. He should have a life outside of our relationship. He should have friends to spend time with. He should not demand excessive amounts of my time. He should have hobbies and interests that I share, as well as some that I don’t. He should have a lifestyle similar to my own. I’m not rich, and I don’t want a guy who is. I want a guy who’d rather go out for pizza than to a four star restaurant. I want a guy who is financially responsible. Conversation is also very important. I need to be able to talk to him without getting bored. This guy would have a great sense of humor and would be able to keep me laughing – maybe even with Shaggy and Scooby impersonations. He would also have a serious side since there are times that humor just won’t cut it. Accepting the fact that I have lots of guy friends is also a necessity. I don’t want an overly jealous guy who doesn’t trust me when it comes to my friends.

Knowing that I don’t need a guy in order to be happy gives me much comfort. It means that I can be selective. I can take my time in finding that person who completes me. And without a doubt, I’m sure that I will eventually find him. In the meantime, I care very much about a special someone. And I know that he has feelings for me too. With each passing day, I feel a little more blessed to know him, and if things never go any farther than friendship, he will always have a big piece of my heart.