The Kat House

Last month, I had a bit of a phone snafu. For some odd reason, my home phone wouldn’t get a dial tone. I unplugged the phone and took it to each of the other jacks in the house. No dial tone on any of them. I then called BellSouth from my cell phone to report the problem. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get a live person on the phone. I had to report the problem to an automated system. I was told that a technician would come out to my house within 48 hours to check the outside lines. It was then stated that if it turned out to be an indoor problem that required BellSouth to make repairs, I’d get hit with a repair fee. Two days later, I got a note on my door that BellSouth had checked the lines, and everything on the outside was just fine. If I needed them to check inside the house, there would be a fee. At this point, I figured I’d try to isolate the problem myself. I tried anything and everything. Finally, by process of elimination, I figured that the problem must be with the cord that runs from the telephone to the jack. I replaced it. Dial tone! Okay, I felt like a real idiot, but at least I did finally figure out the problem all by myself.

Fast forward to a couple of days ago. I got a bill from BellSouth, and there was an $85 repair fee on it! What the hell? I was furious! I called BellSouth and told off three employees before being transferred to a manager. The conversation with the manager went something like this.

Me: You did not inform me that I would get charged $85 for one of your techs to spend five minutes at my house testing the line!

Manager: Ma’am, it’s our policy. If we send a tech out, you get charged a repair fee. It’s our policy!

Me: Oh, is it also your policy not to inform your customers of the charge?

Manager: You were informed of the charge when you first signed up for our service.

Me: I’ve had your service since 1999! Am I supposed to remember the fine print that came to my mailbox in 1999?

Manager: I’m sorry. There is nothing I can do to help you. You will have to pay the fee.

Me: Well, how about I cancel my DSL service? I have cable through Comcast, and I can switch to their high speed internet service! And while I’m at it, I think I’ll cancel my land line as well. I have a cell phone, so I really don’t need it. I’m paying you guys $83 per month for nothing!

Manager: Are you threatening me??!

Now, I must say that I almost laughed when he asked me that! And you should have heard the tone of his voice! I was definitely rattling him, so I had to keep it up!

Manager: I don’t want to lose your business, ma’am. Let’s see what we can do. You mentioned that you have a cell phone. If it’s through Cingular, you can combine it with your BellSouth bill. You’ll receive only one bill per month, and you’ll get $5 off your cellular service each month. In addition, I can give you a great deal on Direct TV - only a fraction of what you’re paying for your cable! And one more thing - you can get the new Extreme DSL which will double your internet speed for only $5 more per month!

Me: Sounds pretty good. What about that $85 repair fee?

Manager: If you sign up for these bundled services, I’ll take off the $85 repair fee.

Me: Okay, sign me up!

I’ll be saving about $40 per month with this bundled package! Yay me! Oh, and one more interesting tidbit.

Manager: Ma’am, I must applaud you. You sure do know how to stand up for yourself. I can see that you don’t take any crap from anyone.

Yep, he was right about that.