The Kat House

I found the following meme on Ray Ray’s blog. Since he swore revenge for the meme I tagged him on recently, I figured I’d go ahead and and fill this one out. Such cruel and ununusual punishment!

Project Description: (written by Vincent)
“I am quite a big asshole, eh? This project is called ‘The Assholometer Bounty’ simply because it is interesting find out, now that you guys know of my evilness, how much you would pay to get rid of me? How much would you be willing to fork out to rid the world of someone like me? Pillage my commenting box with any figure and I will total up the assholometer bounty as we go along.Let’s face it. As much as people like to claim that they are nice people, everybody is an asshole deep down inside. In fact, not enough people are proud of the evil things they did. With the exception of a couple of guys, I don’t think enough people blog about their ‘assholic’ tendencies. Wouldn’t it be a joy to read of more people being evil?1) All you guys have to do is blog about your most ‘assholic’ deed (or a few, if you wish) in order to get your readers to raise your bounty. The higher your bounty, the better.2) Copy out these last few paragraphs including the project description.3) In keeping with being an ‘asshole’, you are free to spread this meme along to as many people as you wish (the more the merrier since everybody hates memes).”- vincent

Now for my response.

Contrary to popular belief, girls can be assholes too. I know that most of you consider me a nice, sweet, thoughtful gal, but let me say this. I have serious asshole tendencies. Consider the following examples.

1. I went in to Buddy’s Bar-b-q with Jake a few weeks ago. It was about 10 minutes till closing time, and I was craving a baked potato. The girl at the counter asked another employee if they had any baked potatoes. WTF? If it’s on the menu, they should have it! Anything less is just unacceptable. The guy said, “Well, we have some, but I don’t know if they are good.” What the hell?? Well, I wasn’t about to take a gamble with those odds! I was pissed. I let out a loud sigh, rolled my eyes, and told the girl that I’d take a pork sandwich and a side of potato salad. Then I proceeded to tell Jake (while standing at the counter) that if I were the owner of that place, I’d fire everybody working that night. Jake was way too understanding of their positions. He said, “Tish, it’s nearly closing time. What do you expect?” I replied, “Yes, but it’s NOT closing time, and I expect good service up until the moment it is!” Jake then felt it necessary to point out that I should not say such things within earshot of Buddy’s employees until AFTER I get my food. Believe me - I was keeping a hawk eye on those guys. And I didn’t refrain from saying so - loudly. And the icing on the cake? Jake said, “Tish, why do you have to be such a bitch?”

2. I regularly flip people off in traffic. If you’re riding my ass, or poking ass, or cutting me off, expect to see the finger!

3. A few years ago, I got drunk and ended up sleeping with a “friend” who was visiting from out of town. As soon as it was over - a good five minutes after it began - I realized what had happened and was furious! The guy had the guts to ask, “How was it?” to which I replied, “Okay I guess.” Listen buddy. It was not okay. You suck. You suck bad. I could have done a better job with a Sharpie! So, after the aforementioned incident, I got up and went to sleep on the couch. In the morning when he woke up, I said, “You need to leave now.” A few weeks later, I saw him at a concert, and let’s just say that I wasn’t very nice. I think I was more pissed at myself than at him, but I couldn’t let him know that.

4. A few months ago, I started to tell my friend Elliot about a random guy that I had met. He then informed me that he didn’t want to hear the story because the guy would be history, just like all the others, within two weeks. He stated that I shouldn’t mention a guy to him until I’ve known him for at least three weeks. My reply? “Elliot, kiss my ass!” Then I walked away and ignored him for the next three days.

5. And, last but certainly not least, I rip the tags off bed mattresses!!

The preceeding examples are only a small sampling of a much larger collection of my asshole behaviors. On most days, and to most people, I’m as nice as they come. But if you get on my bad side, watch out!

Now, I’d like to tag a few other people. I know, I know. Everybody hates tags. But hey - I’m an asshole, remember?

Osbasso, Clara, Michael, Barry, Top Cat, Lecram Sinun, and Shhhh ~ You’re up!