The Kat House

Quick! Somebody call Guinness! I think I just inadvertently set a new world record for the longest time spent holding one’s breath!

Damn self-cleaning ovens! I noticed a few grease splatters in my oven today, and what better time to try out the self-cleaning feature, right? WRONG! I hit the clean button and went about my business. A little while later I smelled smoke. I made sure nothing was on fire, and went back to my other household duties. Then I smelled more smoke. I went to the kitchen, and the smoke was so thick you could have cut it with a knife! And the smell was horrendous! This was not your ordinary smoke. It was something akin to a cannibalistic barbecue in a leper colony. Not that I’ve ever smelled that. But I’ve got a vivid imagination, folks. And roasting lepers had nothing on this stench!

When I turned around and saw the dogs lying in the floor gasping for air, I knew that drastic measures had to be taken. I opened windows. I turned on exhaust fans. I turned on ceiling fans. The dogs had their heads hanging out the windows, and there was so much smoke pouring out of this house that I’m surprised the fire department didn’t show up!

It took a couple of hours to get some fresh air back into this place, but you know what? I did it, and all while holding my breath!