The Kat House

I told my friends about my latest date fiasco – the guy who seemed to be crazy about me and then all of a sudden just disappeared. Every one of my friends gave a variation of the same explanation – “Tish, you must have scared him off!” My friend Kevin even chose to elaborate by saying, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but sometimes you come across as very aggressive.” I will admit that I don’t believe in pussyfooting around the issues. I say what’s on my mind, but I usually say it in a well thought out manner. If I like a guy, I tell him. What’s so wrong with that?

I was married for five years, and I’ve been divorced for six. Believe me – I’m not looking for a husband. Been there, done that. I’d do again it only in the event that I were certain I had found my soul mate. I’m a very independent woman, and I don’t need a man taking care of me. I want a man as my companion, not as my caregiver. The majority of my relationships have ended for one of two reasons – because I was unable to open up to the guy in a suitable timeframe, or because I was unwilling to dedicate a suitable amount of my time to the guy. Both of these things will come to pass with the right person. I do want to open up, and I do want to eventually get to the point of spending a lot of time with a certain someone. But in the beginning, it’s very hard for me to do. Guys just can’t seem to understand that. It’s all about the independence.

As far as this latest Houdini goes, I did nothing that I can think of that would have scared him. I see no reason for his disappearing act! I did tell him that I liked him, but he told me that same thing first! I didn’t ask him to set a date for our wedding. I didn’t discuss our children’s names. So what then did I do that was so wrong?

Someone once told me that I shouldn’t question these kind of things – that I should just accept them and move on. I’m trying to do that, but the question still nags at me. Is there something that I’m not aware of that’s jeopardizing all my potential relationships before they even have a chance to bloom? Are my seemingly aggressive tendencies to blame? Guys, think about it – aggressiveness can be a good thing at the right moments.