Contrary to popular belief, I do have a heart! And now there’s proof!
During the course of a routine physical exam this past Friday, I was told that I had developed a heart murmur. I was more than a little concerned, especially once I started reading about all the heart disorders and diseases that could potentially cause a murmur. My doctor sent me for some cardiac tests at the hospital on Tuesday. The first test was an echocardiogram, and I was able to see a 2-D image of my heart on the screen. Yes! It does exist! Alert the media!
The second test that was done was a bubble test. Bubbles were sent through an IV and monitored on the screen as they went through my heart. It took 6 punctures (4 in one arm and 2 in the other) to finally get an IV to take. My arms are all bruised up. Ouch!
Yesterday, I got a call from my doctor. I have a couple of leaky heart valves that are creating the murmurs, but all in all, I am fine! What a relief! And best of all, there’s now proof of my heart’s existence! Up until this point, it has been merely a myth. Oh, and since my six puncture wounds all showed the presence of a thick red substance, I feel that I have also disproved Joel’s theory. When I told him about my murmurs, he exclaimed, “Well, that’s what happens when you have ice water flowing through your veins!” Being the critic that he is, I’m sure Joel will demand further tests to look for the presence of hemoglobin in this mysterious red liquid flowing through my veins. Stay tuned for more breaking news…
