Once again, I have plumbing problems at my house. Last night while washing the dishes, I encountered a flood of water from underneath the kitchen sink. After constructing a makeshift raft and sailing away to safety, I considered my options.
- Call Jake and get him to do a temporary fix so that I can finish washing my dishes.
- Get on my knees (something that I have absolutely no experience with), assess the problem, go to Lowe’s, attempt to find the parts necessary to make the repair, and then play with my pipes (once again, something I have no experience with).
- Call a plumber. I’ve done th is so many times before, and it always comes with a hefty fee and an unsightly plumber’s crack.
- Marry a handyman.
I called Jake, and he agreed to come over this evening to work on the problem. If that doesn’t work, I guess I’ll move on to Option 2. Why do I have the feeling that by choosing this option, I’ll discover what it’s like to walk a mile in Noah’s shoes?! If Option 2 is unsuccessful, it’s on to Option 3. I did find a plumber in my neighborhood a couple of years ago. His rates are about half as much as everyone else’s, but the plumber’s crack is twice as bad. Does the end justify the means? If the first three options fail, I’m just going to have to marry a handyman. A multitude of payments to a plumber or a life of servitude to a handyman? Hmm, a perplexing question indeed. But I’d be able to keep my cash if I married a handyman. And considering that I’ll need money to hire the divorce lawyer after all my household projects are completed, that’s definitely a plus. Yep, gonna marry a handyman! Send in your applications now!
Oh, and the plot thickens! Shortly after the escape from my waterlogged kitchen, I heard a bubbling sound coming from my bathroom. There were huge air bubbles coming up out of the toilet. I flushed it and had to immediately grab the plunger. I was flushing and plunging half the night! You can’t tell me that this isn’t related to the kitchen sink incident. At least I have a second bathroom. And it is working – at least for the moment!
Jake has his work cut out for him tonight. And just in case he doesn’t complete the assigned tasks, I have reserved May 28th for my wedding. Get those applications in now!
